The author’s journey of self-discovery highlights the need to prioritize personal happiness and embrace the freedom to live authentically after years of meeting others’ expectations.
From a young age, I was conditioned to prioritize the happiness of my family, neighborhood, and society. I grew up fulfilling expectations, always striving to make those around me proud. Reflecting after four decades, I acknowledge significant personal and professional achievements. Yet, a part of me realizes I haven’t done much purely for myself.
Despite extensive travels, I seldom visited places I genuinely desired. Time with friends was scarce, as I never felt the need. A recent outing highlighted this disconnect. While ordering food, I struggled to choose because I didn’t know my preferences. Even in esteemed restaurants, I often mirrored others’ choices. Shopping posed similar challenges; I found it hard to decide what suited me, always seeking external validation.
Last year, I hesitated to join an online self-growth event, fearing familial judgment. A close friend’s advice, “Do what makes you happy”- resonated deeply. After contemplation, I joined, leading to one of the most profound experiences of my life.
Though I’ve encountered wonders and met amazing people, I seldom asked myself what I truly wanted. When I finally did, I realized I lacked the answer. Even selecting a saree felt overwhelming. Being constantly pampered led me to neglect my own needs.
A year ago, friends invited me to a picturesque locale in southern India. This trip felt different- it was solely for fun. As the departure neared, a family health issue arose, prompting me to consider canceling. Balancing responsibilities and personal desires was challenging.
Two days before the trip, I chose to go. Not out of irresponsibility, but recognizing that I wasn’t the sole caretaker. I anticipated criticism but understood the necessity of being there for myself.
The four-day journey with childhood friends felt unfamiliar initially. For the first two days, I grappled with identifying what made me happy. Gradually, I found my footing. Standing amidst rough sea waves, I reveled in the experience for myself, indifferent to onlookers’ perceptions.
Many of us feel constrained, viewing self-discovery as indulgent and prioritizing personal happiness as wrong. We often believe that taking time for ourselves is selfish. However, it’s perfectly acceptable to embark on a trip, savor a special meal, or make a purchase simply because it brings joy, writes Gayathri Ramachandran.
Since then, I’ve embarked on more trips and programs, driven by personal desire. I’m aware of those puzzled by my newfound independence, unaccustomed to seeing me take autonomous steps.
Many of us feel constrained, viewing self-discovery as indulgent and prioritizing personal happiness as wrong. We often believe that taking time for ourselves is selfish. However, it’s perfectly acceptable to embark on a trip, savor a special meal, or make a purchase simply because it brings joy. Obligations will always exist, but it’s vital to carve out moments for oneself.
Out of love, family and friends might worry that change could disrupt routines or cause setbacks. Their concerns stem from care. Yet, if pursuing personal happiness feels essential, embrace it without regret.
Freedom isn’t about proving independence to the world. To me, it’s about engaging in small acts that bring joy. As you support those around you, remember to be there for yourself too.
As actress Priyanka Chopra aptly said, “You can’t make everybody happy. There would be someone out there who would be unhappy about what you do!” This sentiment deeply resonates with me. My journey of self-discovery continues, and I’m learning that prioritizing my happiness is both acceptable and fulfilling. It’s a beautiful feeling, marking just the beginning.
Self-care and self-discovery aren’t selfish acts; they’re vital for our well-being. By dedicating time to ourselves, we become better equipped to support and love others. So, take that trip, try that new dish, buy that outfit you adore, and embrace the joy of living for yourself. Your happiness matters, and it’s okay to prioritize it.
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