In her bestselling first book, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau takes you on a journey toward self-knowledge, acceptance, and empowerment, drawing on her own life experiences and the expertise of top psychologists, scientists, and thought leaders.
In the memoir, Sophie, the former de facto First Lady of Canada and mental health advocate, shares her journey of resilience and rediscovering creative beauty and a childlike essence in life’s challenges while offering readers practical insights into mental health and emotional well-being.
Released earlier this year by Penguin Random House, the book has received love from readers. In a book blurb, former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton calls it “an intrepid exploration into achieving a life filled with purpose, meaning, and a sense of wonder. Closer Together makes a heartfelt case for the importance of connection for our well-being: as individuals, as parents and mentors, and as members of society.”
Parveen Chopra, Founding Editor of A Lotus In The Mud, met Sophie at a mental health seminar at the United Nations in New York. Subsequently, she gave to Lotus an exclusive Zoom interview from her home in Ottawa, often going beyond the themes of her book. She shared her wellness routine, insights on vulnerability, and how embracing life’s dualities creates deeper connections. Taking off from the name of this web magazine, Sophie said that without mud there can be no lotus. In other words, growth and beauty often emerge from life’s struggles.
Here are excerpts from the interview, which are posted in two parts. The edited video will be released later.
Parveen Chopra – A Lotus In The Mud
What inspired you to write ‘Closer Together’, and what core message do you hope readers take from it?
Sophie Grégoire Trudeau:
The title Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other reflects the essence of the journey we all need to take—coming closer to ourselves to love others better. From scientific, psychological, and relational perspectives, the task is to understand and heal ourselves to create deeper connections with others—whether as family, friends, partners, or colleagues.
What personal experiences shaped the themes of connection and community in the book?
Sophie:
We live in a fragmented world with a diminishing sense of community and belonging. Many have not learned how to safely accept pain and suffering, essential parts of life. The phrase “No mud, no lotus” encapsulates this truth—growth and beauty come through life’s struggles.
As an only child, I spent my early years in nature, supported by loving parents who carried unresolved trauma. I often felt responsible for saving my father from addiction and protecting my mother from emotional pain. Children shouldn’t have to bear that burden, but many do, as parents pass down trauma unknowingly.
This experience taught me that we are all one trauma away from each other. A single traumatic event can reshape how we respond to stress, altering our thoughts, bodily sensations, and relationships. Recognizing these patterns has been a central part of my journey.
“The essence of the journey we all need to take is to come closer to ourselves to love others better. The task is to understand and heal ourselves to create deeper connections with others—whether as family, friends, partners, or colleagues.”
What practical strategies from ‘Closer Together’ can help readers improve their relationships and foster community?
Sophie:
Mental health is interconnected with our body and emotions — our brain, heart, and gut constantly communicate. I call this harmony our wild wholeness. To nurture it, we need to slow down. Whether running errands, working, or spending time with loved ones, slowing down reconnects us with our inner selves.
The practice of “catch, pause, and repair” is a key concept in my book. When we feel triggered — whether by a coworker, child, or stranger — we can pause instead of reacting impulsively. Dr. Gabor Maté (a renowned addiction expert) says, “Every upset is a setup.” In these moments, pausing helps us understand our emotional responses and create peace within ourselves, which naturally extends to others.
You mentioned somewhere becoming a ‘full citizen of your aloneness’. What do you mean?
Sophie:
Poet David Whyte speaks about the need to become a full citizen of our aloneness, not to be confused with loneliness or isolation. Emotional maturity involves learning to sit with our pain and solitude without trying to escape it.
This has been a vital lesson, especially as I navigate changing relationships—such as my children seeking more independence and my evolving friendship with my former husband (Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau). Old patterns from childhood, like my father’s emotional distance, can resurface. But we have a choice: to react impulsively or pause, reflect, and grow. These moments offer opportunities for healing and transformation.
How do you maintain your own mental and emotional well-being?
Sophie:
I embrace imperfection and see life as a continuous process of learning and rewriting my story. Yoga is one of my essential practices — my mat becomes a space for release, whether through tears, sweat, or joy. I also rely on breathing exercises to stay grounded when life feels overwhelming.
Ultimately, my goal is to create coherence between my mind and heart. Clearing mental clutter helps me engage with others more authentically and more clearly. Real work is coming closer to ourselves, which enables us to love others better.
“Meaning and purpose don’t come from recognition or external achievements—they come from within. We must detach from the stories we tell ourselves while still taking meaningful action.”
What do you hope readers gain from ‘Closer Together’?
Sophie:
I hope readers find inspiration to slow down, reconnect with themselves, and foster more profound, more meaningful relationships. The tools for healing and connection are within our reach — accessible through self-awareness, small pauses, and intentional actions. We have the power to create peace within ourselves and our communities.
How have your interactions with influential people shaped the ‘Closer Together’ narrative?
Sophie:
I never saw myself as a public figure, a First Lady, or a celebrity. These are stories we tell ourselves, illusions. We must be careful about how we idolize public figures — they are not different from us. Through my encounters with influential people, I realized that we are all more similar than we think, connected by the exact needs: to be loved, seen, valued, and understood.
People with a voice must use it responsibly. In some ways, the ‘cape’ I wore as a child — trying to protect my parents from their struggles — still appears in my life. I’ve always wanted to serve, to feel close to others, and to life itself. This desire for intimacy with life isn’t always easy or beautiful.
Whether I agree with their values or not, meeting leaders has taught me that the most important thing is openness. The more fragile we are, the more threatened we feel by others’ differences. But fragility is not the same as vulnerability. I want to be vulnerable without being fragile. The health of our democracies depends on this distinction. We must remain curious, open, and compassionate, without being so fragile that we react defensively to anything challenging. Without this openness, we keep running from pain, but it never works.
“I want to be vulnerable without being fragile. The health of our democracies depends on this distinction. We must remain curious, open, and compassionate, without being so fragile that we react defensively to anything that challenges us.”
In a blurb for your book, Hillary Clinton describes it as “an exploration into achieving a life filled with purpose and meaning.” What purpose and meaning have you found in your life?
Sophie:
I never imagined that someone like Hillary Clinton — whether you agree with her politics — would support my book. It’s humbling to receive validation from people like her, Dr Gabor Maté, Arianna Huffington, Lisa Damour (clinical psychologist), and others. But what matters is that, at the core, we are all speaking the same language — a shared desire for inner peace so that we can bring peace into the world.
This validation feels good, but it’s not the goal. Meaning and purpose don’t come from recognition or external achievements — they come from within. We can’t expect things to resolve magically. We must detach from the stories we tell ourselves while still taking meaningful action.
I don’t believe in the concept of the ‘self-made’ person. We are shaped by every encounter, good or bad. Each experience contributes to who we become and how we succeed, not for external validation or trophies but for something deeper, something real.
For me, true success means living with coherence between mind and heart. That coherence requires facing inconvenient truths and being honest with ourselves and others. In today’s world, where truth is often distorted to suit personal agendas, it’s essential to reconnect with the truth of who we are individually and collectively. This truth lies in understanding how our nervous systems work and how we can foster mental and emotional health.
Continue to read the Exclusive Interview with Sophie
We have to heal ourselves and the world around us: Sophie Grégoire Trudeau
Passionate Advocate of Mental Health & More
SOPHIE GRÉGOIRE TRUDEAU advocates for mental health, emotional literacy, and gender equality. Over the past 20 years, she has been involved with various causes as a speaker, interviewer, and mentor, including teenage self-esteem, women’s rights and freedoms, and eating disorders. She shares her time with several charities and non-profits. She is the Canadian Mental Health Association’s national volunteer and Plan International’s Youth Leadership Global Ambassador.
Sophie received the 2013 UN Women National Committee Canada Recognition Award for her contribution to human rights, the 100th Member of Nature Canada’s Women for Nature initiative, and the Because Mothers Matter Award.
Montreal-born Sophie has studied commerce and communications and is fully bilingual in French and English (and intermediate Spanish). Before becoming a TV and radio host, she worked in sales, advertising, and a newsroom. She is passionate about movement and exercise, and is a certified yoga teacher.
Sophie separated from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in 2023 after 18 years of marriage. A mother of three and an adventurous sportswoman, she loves painting, writing, playing music, and human mischief.
‘Closer Together’ is her first book.
Photo credit: Maude Chauvin
