Unleash your true self: How to break free from limiting beliefs

Why do we feel full of potential, yet unable to fully live it?

Why do others believe in us more than we do in ourselves?

Why do we shy away and hide from owning up to our true selves?

It all comes down to the beliefs we hold. Beliefs are powerful. They create, empower, inspire, and anchor us, becoming a beacon of hope and a guiding light. They are the invisible force that carries us through our days, giving us the confidence that life will continue to unfold. Belief in God, in people, in things, in an idea or a vision has helped shape our paths. Many of these beliefs have shaped us for the better, but some have held us back.

Limiting beliefs are the roadblocks that keep us from accelerating through life. They manifest in different ways. It could be physical beliefs such as ‘I am not lean enough,’ ‘I am not fair enough,’ or ‘I am not fit enough.’ It can be emotional, with beliefs such as ‘I am not assertive,’ ‘I am not strong,’ or ‘I am not loved.’ It could be intellectual, such as beliefs like ‘I don’t understand numbers,’ or ‘I can’t learn a new language,’ or spiritual, such as beliefs like ‘I am alone,’ ‘I am lonely,’ or ‘I am not protected.’ These shape our feelings and responses to life experiences.

One of my limiting beliefs that has been a silent constant in my life is this one phrase ‘fear of…’ A lot of my life has been shaped by this one emotion, fear’. Fear of failure made me excel academically. Fear of judgment made me good at the work I do.

Fear built me.

But fear of a new environment has also held me back. Fear of failure also prevented me from taking bold risks.

Fear also held me back.

Where does the positive impact of fear end, and its limiting effect begin?

The question led me deeper.

My first memory of fear traces back to a moment with two neighboring Didi’s (girls). I still remember the terrace we played on. I was 10 or 12 years old at the time. One of the Didis kept glancing in a direction while playing. When I asked why, she pointed to a group of guys on a nearby terrace and told me they were bullies. The child I was, I looked at them and shouted, telling them to mind their own business and not interfere with my friend. I don’t remember their reaction. What I remember is what followed on my terrace. That Didi got so furious and shouted at me for being so naïve and reckless. She said those boys were powerful and dangerous, capable of harming or even kidnapping me. I still remember the chills that ran down my spine that day. It was my first experience with fear.

Once fear entered my life, it has followed me ever since. As a child, I often looked over my shoulder, worried that someone might kidnap me! I am a good human being, yet it did not empower me as much. It took me a long time to stand up for what is right and speak my mind. As I grew, I evolved, but this fear still followed me. As a new joiner in a multinational corporation, I feared making mistakes. As a team manager, I feared I did not do enough for my team. Today, as a mother, I fear that I have not done enough and have not given my best to my children.

How do we know if a belief is impacting us positively or negatively? The answer lies in awareness. Recognizing our limiting beliefs and taking control of them gives us an opportunity for growth. When we blame external reasons, we allow the belief to take root more deeply within us and gain control over us.

Fear has unknowingly influenced many key decisions in my life. I was unwilling to relocate to a new geographical area. At that time, I was sure I had made the right decision, but with time, I realized my decision was not motivated by logical reasoning but by my fears. I understood what was controlling me. This was my wake-up call. I identified and recognized the control that my limiting belief, fear, has had in my life. Since then, it has been a journey of growth and outgrowth.

I started small, doing simple things. Entering a room with a dog (whether tied or not) was a significant step for a non-dog lover like me. Enrolling in a swimming class to overcome the fear of water. Learning to drive a car. Singing in front of an audience. Dancing in front of hundreds. Before the end of the year, I had crossed off many fears from my list.

Am I fearless today? Yes and no! Yes, in many things. No, because it’s a journey, and each day presents a new opportunity to face and overcome it. But with every new experience, something within me shifts. I experience a new sense of freedom, and it is liberating.

So, coming back, how to know if a belief is having a positive or negative impact on us? The answer lies in awareness. Recognizing our limiting beliefs and taking control of them allows us to experience a positive impact and an opportunity for growth. When we are unaware of the limiting belief and blame external reasons, we allow the belief to root itself deeper within us and gain control over us.

One at a time, identifying these limiting beliefs and understanding their origin helps us understand ourselves and our feelings better. Taking those tiny steps towards getting over them creates us. One experience at a time we outgrow the old and step into a more potent, powerful, and beautiful version of ourselves.

So, what is that one limiting belief you’ve unknowingly nurtured—and are now ready to outgrow?