Parenting. The very word evokes myriad emotions, some sweet, some bitter. It’s a deeply personal journey, and no single rule fits all because every parent and every child is different. More often than not, it feels like a tricky balancing act—trying to guide another human being while still learning to manage our own thoughts and responses.
But what if there was a way to make this journey a little easier—for both parents and children? Not a rigid formula, but a set of simple, mindful habits that create space for both to grow, adapt, and thrive with fewer struggles.
The following are not quick fixes, but quiet shifts—habits you can incorporate into your daily life that can gently transform your parenting and your children’s experience of it.
Here are those ‘Dream 11’ (no, not the cricket team), but a list of habits that could reshape your parenting journey.
1. Parental Intention
It is often said that karma weighs intentions more than actions. In parenting, that idea carries particular weight.
Getting parental intention right can shape the course of a child’s life. Avoid judging or labeling; simply keep reinforcing what you want them to be. Over time, that intention will become their invisible guardian angel.
No matter the circumstance—poor marks on exams, misbehavior at school, or not listening—correct them outwardly, but within, hold this powerful intention that they will grow into good human beings and go on to do well in life.
2. Faith
Introduce your child early to a sense of the divine—Narayana, Jesus, Allah, or any other name. Make it a relationship, a lingering, invisible presence in their world. In everyday life, whenever your child is scared, gently reassure them: “Our God will take care of you.”
When I was a child, my grandmother would tell me, “No lightning or thunder will harm you if you utter the name of Hanuman/Bajrang Bali (Indian god). The gods will protect us.” That belief stayed with me so deeply that I have passed it on to my children. Even today, I whisper ‘Bajrang Bali’ whenever I hear thunder or see lightning. In simple moments of life, plant the seeds of faith in the child. The sense of security that they grew up with can be truly unparalleled.
3. Belief
Be “The Wall” your child can lean on. No matter what, have their back. Be there for them unconditionally.
Like the spinach that powers Popeye the Sailor, your love can become the magic potion that helps them meet challenges head-on.
Growing up, my brother was not extraordinary in academics. Yet, my father never lost faith in him; he stood by him and nudged him forward. Today, my brother leads the finance division of a company he works for.
Be a strong believer in your child.
4. Discipline
Discipline is boring. Discipline is hard. Discipline is uncool. But it is the distinguisher–the quality that separates the ordinary from the extraordinary.
If you want to raise an extraordinary child, make discipline an integral part of their routine. Set a few clear, non-negotiable routines, like fixed mealtimes and a consistent study hour. Create a dedicated place for everything and teach them to return things where they belong.
Pair discipline with something they love doing. A friend of mine would always tell her children, “Tidy up your toys and then go cycling.” By linking responsibility with reward, she made discipline feel natural rather than imposed. Today, both her kids straighten up their room before they go out to play; it has become a habit.
Keep reinforcing what needs to be done until it becomes a habit. Over time, discipline becomes a way of life.
5. Vocabulary
Words are powerful tools. Choose them with care. Set a tone that is positive and thoughtful. Lay down a few non-negotiable boundaries when it comes to vocabulary. In my home, for instance, using the words ‘hell,’ ‘shit’or certain profanities is simply not allowed.
A positive and empowering vocabulary does more than shape conversation—it shapes thoughts. Over time, it helps cultivate a constructive and self-assured mindset in your child.
6. Say it and do it
The simplest way to earn a child’s trust is to keep your promises. If a parent says something, it should be as good as done.
Make your word ironclad, and you will see your child begin to mirror that same conviction in their promises or commitment. The subconscious mind understands commitments that are met and starts believing in them.
7. Respect
You receive what you give. Offer respect, speak with respect, and act with respect, and your child will do the same.
Simple phrases like “I am so sorry,” “That is so kind of you,” or “Thank you for doing this and listening to me” may seem small but carry a lasting impression on your child’s mind. They shape how a child learns to treat others for life.
8. Listen
The hardest part of parenting is resisting the urge to react and often knowing when to keep quiet! If only someone could invent a glue—“chutki mein chipkaaye”—to seal our lips, it might save us from many unwanted conversations and help build stronger connections with our kids.
Listen. Listen. Listen. Parents should be good listeners and resist the urge to offer an opinion, a correction, or a conclusion. Most importantly, avoid being judgmental.
Is it possible to be like that?
No, it is hard. But listening is a powerful way of building relationships. My mentor would often say, ‘As parents, our go-to phrases should be ‘hmm,’ ‘of course,’ ‘that is interesting,’ ‘oh really,’ and ‘I understand.’ Use them, she would suggest, and watch the magic unfold. Your child begins to come to you for advice, rather than having it imposed on them.
Listening is the most underrated parenting hack.
9. Empathy
Step into your child’s shoes, even for a few minutes, and your perspective would change entirely. We are quick to empathize with sad posts on social media, but at home, we often fall short, especially with our kids.
Before you respond, put yourself in their shoes and try to see their point of view—not through the lens of your childhood, but within their present reality. Life was simpler back then. The world they are growing up in is undoubtedly different, and without empathy, it is difficult to understand what they are going through.
My daughter went through a rough phase last year. She had a series of friendship struggles. As a mother, I would instinctively slip into solution mode until one day she stopped me and said, ‘Can you just listen?’ The more I did, the more I could feel her emotions. It changed not only how I responded but also how I understood her and her reaction to her situation.
Empathy allows us to feel one with the other. Feel that for your child.
10. Be enthusiastically celebratory
Show them what it means to be celebrated.
All of us love to be celebrated. Celebrate not just their achievement, but also the efforts they put in. When appreciation is offered generously at home, the need to seek validation elsewhere becomes less.
Waking up to a new dawn as a family is in itself a celebration. With children, even the smallest moments are worth making. When they learn a new skill, a pat on their back would go a long way in motivating them to do better. Or when they conquer a fear, prepare something they love, acknowledging that effort that becomes a celebration in itself.
Look for reasons to celebrate–they are in every moment.
11. Let go
Yes—like in the movie Frozen—let it go.
There is a reason we are called individuals. Each of us is unique, different, and one of a kind.
As Khalil Gibran put it:
“Your children come through you but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
And they are not you. They are entirely different, and they are here to make their mark on the world in their way.
Allow them to walk their path. Let them falter, make mistakes, and learn. Be there as their loudest cheerleaders.
If you have come this far, they are lucky to have you as their parent who is reflecting, learning, and constantly evolving to give their best to their children. That gives your child a strong foundation to feel supported, protected, and prepared.
And then, simply let go and watch them flourish.
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