As the New Year is flooded with messages of hope, inspiration and blessings – I am sure you are surprised to read the title of my expression to you. Bear with me… I do believe reading this will still fill you with hope, inspiration and blessings. A little differently, though.
2025 was a phenomenal year for me. A lot went very right. A little went very wrong. As I pause today, I can’t help but reminisce about people, about situations. And yes, the three key mistakes that I made, which I plan not to take with me as I step into a stupendous 2026.
Mistake #1: At some point during the year, I suddenly started feeling spiritually low. A little forsaken. It’s unusual. My greatest strength has always been my relationship with my Guru who to me is also my Source of Faith. I just felt that something was missing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
Around the same time, my daughter, Athyasaa,had just started her pre-school. It was a huge transition for a child running barefoot in gardens, talking to butterflies, deeply protected and loved in her cocoon to be midst a larger world of children, of adults, of new thought processes – possible judgments. She looked nervously at me and I at her – and together, we made a silent pact that we would see each other through.
Initially I was allowed in the classroom to ease her for the whole time. Then I was allowed for just the beginning. And gradually, I was asked to sit in the reception area where I could see her through the huge TV screening the CCTV footage from classrooms, but she couldn’t see me.
My heart would wrench when I would see my little girl look around, cry and then be distracted by the teachers. I would literally have to tell myself to not run in and hold my child – as the supervisors told me that would just make the process tougher. One of those days as she was looking at me with beseeching eyes as I left her in the classroom to sit in the reception area – something happened.
I realized my God was watching over me like that too. I thought He had forgotten me – but like a mother, he was watching me through the CCTV though I didn’t know it. He knew this would grow me up and make me independent even of him. He knew I was ready. I felt such immense relief, such centeredness… and would you believe it – same day, something shifted in Athyasaa too. The crying started getting replaced by smiles, a looking forward to school to begin because she knew – she knew with all her heart – her mother was waiting for her at the end of the class and there was nothing to cry about.
I realized it is foolish to ever believe your God will leave you. The Form and the Formless are intertwined – deeper than even a mortal mother and child, and it’s always around. Watching over you.
LEARNING: I thought God had forsaken me. But like I was watching my preschool daughter through CCTV, he was watching over me like a mother unknown to me.
Mistake #2: We had a humongous breakthrough and I was so excited! All my energy was needed to scale the project and make it a hit. I could only eat, sleep, breathe the project and somewhere in all of it – my health started taking a backseat.
I was staying awake thinking of the dream project till 4 am. I was working for over 16 hours – and then balancing my other roles for 3 more hours a day. I missed meals because I was always on calls, zoom meetings or in conversations.
The project took off. But my health went down. Exercise and meditation fortunately have been a part of my dincharya (daily routine) for almost two decades – so those stayed. But sleep/rest and food – completely took a backseat.
After the project my body simply gave in. I had aches, pains, dizziness – and I just didn’t feel like myself. I felt the success though blazing bright, felt a bit dimmed because I wasn’t at my best.
This made me realize that my body is a temple. A temporary imbalance – especially if it’s almost for two months – can completely throw it off and it simply wasn’t justified. I realized that I had cut too many corners and going forward in 2026, even through the most exciting projects, I wish to honor my body.
It is a gift given to me by my mother, father and God, and the only vehicle that’s going to take me through every dream. Now, I have been sleeping more soundly than ever – and indeed, it is helping me dream better. Eyes closed, and eyes open.
LEARNING: I realize that my body is a temple. Even stupendous success cannot compensate when the body is broken. Now I honor my body to fuel my dreams.
Mistake #3: I love deeply and intensely. People matter to me. Relationships really mean a lot to me. While this really helps me aspire, inspire and live each day – there are times when I also feel very deeply hurt and completely debilitated.
I wonder if anything is worth it.
I wonder why I should do so much – do they even deserve it.
I wonder – why me?
Sometimes during 2025, I did go through moments like these. I did deepen it and like the law of the Universe says – that which you deepen, will be repeated. A few, unnecessary situations recurred and I wondered how I could somehow manage my relationships much better.
That’s when I realized – I love, because of what it does to me. I love, because that is who I am. I love, because it purifies me. Expecting love in return, is foolishness because though what you give comes back manifold for you, it is usually never from the person you expect or in the way you expect.
I realized when I loved the world crazily and sometimes even went through hurt – I always had God getting my back and telling me, “I am here!” I realized love never came exactly through the window I was looking out from. It came unannounced through the door. The ceiling. And sometimes even the walls. It always came but I needed to be more open to it from different directions.
I also realized that people didn’t love in the way I expected them to – but that didn’t mean they didn’t love. I expected to hear “I love you!” but what I heard was, “Please eat in time!” I thought it was nagging – but it was love. Some people loved with words – some through actions – and some even through thoughts. Understanding this has made me feel a lot more love.
I feel light. I feel free. I feel happy to love people the way I want to, without expecting anything in return. It’s made my love more unconditional, more liberated – and hence more beautiful. I have also learned to understand love in its different expressions.
I wish to step into 2026 with these three very important learnings.
LEARNING: Love is a state of being, not a transaction. Understanding this has made me feel a lot more love. I feel light. I feel free. I feel happy to love people the way I want to, without expecting anything in return.
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