Every Valentine’s Day, the gurus of marketing invite us to reflect on our love relationship—is it adorned with roses, chocolates, gifts, and grand gestures? If not, it may not be love! Lost in all the hype surrounding you during most of February are the few who prompt you that love is far greater than romance. And what if, instead of chasing “the one,” we embraced the infinite expressions of love that already surround us?
Spiritual awakening, though, reveals that love isn’t something we find—it’s something we uncover within ourselves, existing in deep, transformative connections beyond conventional relationships. So, we see that while romantic love is beautiful, it’s just one facet of a vast spectrum.
The Many Faces of Love
The ancient Greeks captured this nuance with multiple words for love—philia (friendship), storge (familial love), agape (universal love), and eros (romantic love). Love thrives in friendships, the quiet understanding between colleagues, the kindness of strangers, and the sacred bonds of family. When we embrace this broader perspective, love ceases to be a narrow pursuit and instead becomes an ever-present force that enriches every aspect of our lives.
Rethinking Soulmates
We’ve been conditioned to believe in the fairytale of a singular soulmate—someone who completes us. But what if we are already whole? Instead of seeking completion, what if love is about expansion? Spiritual traditions suggest that certain relationships—whether harmonious or challenging—serve as catalysts for growth. A soulmate can be a best friend who reflects our deepest truths, a mentor who sparks transformation, or even a difficult relationship that forces us to confront our shadows and emerge stronger.
Actually, your soul and mine are the same; we appear and disappear in each other.
– Rumi
Interestingly, the concept of soulmates dates back to Plato’s Symposium, where it was suggested that humans were originally created as androgynous beings split in half, destined to seek their missing halves. While this myth has endured, modern spirituality and psychology have given us a more empowering view: rather than searching for a missing piece, we can cultivate deep, meaningful relationships that help us evolve into our fullest selves. And, studies in social psychology suggest that deep emotional connections can be formed in as little as four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact, reinforcing that the essence of soul-level connection is not about destiny but about presence and vulnerability.
The Role of Vulnerability
Love, in any form, demands vulnerability. When we strip away pretense and allow ourselves to be truly seen, we open the door to profound connection. This applies not just to romantic relationships but also to friendships and the relationship we cultivate with ourselves. Vulnerability is not a weakness—it is a bold act of trust. It’s the willingness to embrace love without guarantees, to show up authentically, and to surrender to the beauty of human connection.
The Awakened Heart: Love as Our True Nature
Spiritual awakening teaches that love is not something we must earn—it is our natural state of being. In Buddhist philosophy, the four qualities of an awakened heart are:
- Loving-kindness: A warmth that radiates goodwill toward all beings.
- Compassion: A deep desire to ease the suffering of ourselves and others.
- Joy: Finding happiness not only in our own experiences but also in the joy of others.
- Equanimity: Remaining open-hearted through life’s highs and lows.
By embodying these qualities, we become love itself—not just in romance, but in every interaction and relationship.
Expanding Love: A Spiritual Awakening
One of the revelations of awakening is how effortlessly love flows. Love is not a new invention—it is a return to what has always been. It’s everywhere, within us, and all around us, yet we’ve been conditioned to believe it is scarce and must be earned. Many of us were taught that love exists only within a long-term, romantic, heterosexual relationship. And so, countless relationships struggle under the weight of this limited definition. But love is much more dynamic—alive, boundless, and always in motion.
Stop Looking for “The One”
If I had never heard the phrase “the one” or “soulmate” again, I would have been quite happy. Because I have a different perspective on soulmates. I believe that some people enter our lives and create an undeniable energetic shift. These individuals don’t have to be romantic partners—sometimes, it’s easier when they’re not. But their presence stirs something within us, propelling us forward on our soul’s journey.
Soulmates aren’t always about comfort; they can shake us to our core, challenging us in ways that spark profound transformation. They hold up a mirror, revealing aspects of ourselves we might prefer to ignore. And often, we serve the same role for them. The traditional notion of a singular, lifelong soulmate can be limiting. In reality, we may encounter multiple soulmates throughout our lives, each playing a unique role in our evolution. These relationships—whether brief or lasting—serve as catalysts for growth, helping us expand into our fullest selves.
Love Blossoms in Many Relationships
The idea of “the one” is a cultural illusion. Love is far too expansive to be confined to a single person. Think of love as a spectrum—like ice cream. Vanilla is wonderful, but so are chocolate, pistachio, and rocky road. There’s brotherly love, sisterly love, the camaraderie of teammates, the nurturing of a mentor, and the tenderness of parental love. These expressions of love are not bound by family ties. You can have brotherly love for a friend or maternal love for a child who is not your own. Love exists where we allow it to flourish—free from rigid definitions or expectations.
The Start of a Love Awakening
One of my pivotal moments of awakening came in July 1988. I had just become a mother, and that profound life change prompted deep reflection on love. As I considered the people I truly loved, I realized I could count them on the fingers of one hand. That moment, it struck me—how had I allowed love to be so limited? I remember thinking, “That’s ridiculous.”
Determined to change, I picked up the phone and called a dear friend, simply to tell her, “I love you.” The energy that surged through me was extraordinary. It was as if years of bottled-up love had suddenly burst open. That single moment of vulnerability and expression reshaped my understanding of love.
Interestingly, research in positive psychology supports this experience—acts of openly expressing love and gratitude have been shown to increase overall well-being and strengthen social bonds. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that verbal affirmations of love contribute significantly to emotional intimacy and personal happiness. That day in 1988 marked the beginning of my journey toward a more expansive, open-hearted way of being.
Trusting Your Own Love
I think somewhere along the way, many of us stopped trusting our hearts. Many of us mistakenly believe that closing ourselves off protects us. In reality, it only isolates us. If you, like me, struggle to open your heart, start small. Engage in something you love each day—gardening, painting, playing with your child. Love doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It simply needs space to flow.
As you practice opening your heart, observe when it starts to close. What triggers that reaction? Can you lean into the discomfort a little more? Can you stay open a little longer? This doesn’t mean tolerating mistreatment—an open heart naturally rejects cruelty. But love, at its core, is as much about self-love as it is about loving others. And when you keep showing up with an open heart, life has a way of transforming in unimaginable ways.
Because love is not just something we seek—it is who we are.
2 comments
Very well-written article. True love is un-conditional and does not look for anything in return. It enriches the soul too and helps one to live their life in this beautiful expansive energy.
This is such a beautiful take on love. Taking us through its origin and evolution historically and breaking it down to the everyday acts, it comes a full circle. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and with an open heart, such a beautiful take away for me. Thank you!