The hour-a-day miracle that transformed my family

Four hearts intertwined with Love.
Three young women expressing their feelings endlessly.
Two teams of two each making fun of each other.
One small. Happy. Loving. Family.
This isn’t how I imagined the Jagani household would be just two years ago.

We represented the quintessential modern, nuclear family of the 21st century. Meals at the house were usually eaten alone, ironically with the “company” of either the characters of some TV series or all kinds of addictive apps on mobile phones. If you entered the house randomly, you would usually find it quiet. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the quietude of peace. The quiet was an outcome of fear. Fearing the embarrassment of loud fights that could be heard even by people in the apartment downstairs, we would choose to speak only as much as necessary and refrain from sharing anything. Yes, that is the almost perfect description of what our house looked like. Only that it was even worse.

Just like the pendulum reaches its maximum swing on either side, after which it can only fall, so our family disarray peaked just after the pandemic, when I decided to move out of the house for college. I was on cloud nine, having received a full tuition scholarship at a prestigious university in Pune. Honestly, though, more than the excitement of living in a new campus and meeting new people, I just couldn’t wait to get out of the house. So in November 2021, I finally did. Secretly, each of us mourned the separation of our family in our own way.

Dad glued himself to the screens even more, creating an invisible wall around his heart. My mother found solace in listening to discourses of spiritual masters after being continuously disappointed by both her daughters for ignoring her. I think Diva, my sister 6 years younger than me, was the most affected as she found herself all alone in maneuvering her prime teenage years within the toxic household. 

Me? I got myself entangled in girl drama, stressing about money, boyfriend heartbreaks, and feeling absolutely worthless. I didn’t feel I belonged anywhere. Every day was a struggle to find my own footing in the world. Every night felt like a helpless cry as I prayed for a miracle to change my life. Only now, I can say this in hindsight, that the miracle was already unfolding right in front of my eyes.

The Long-Distance Awakening: Valuing the Priceless Asset of Family

Do you know how people say that you only start valuing something when you no longer have it? With no longer having the privilege to see each other every day, once again, the four of us began the journey of valuing the constitution of family. Distance was a loving bond agent in disguise. I still remember the feeling of coming back home for the first time after going to college. Despite all the confusion and uncertainty about the future, I distinctly remember feeling protected, comforted, and tremendously loved by my family, who supported me at every stage of life.

I wondered, “Why have I never acknowledged this priceless asset in my life before?” I did not even know what to do with this realization. We became a little kinder, a little gentler, and a little more loving with each other as I spent a few months in the Jagani household before the alluring Mumbai pulled me out of the house once again. However, with all the attempts to make our family closer, ours was still a house. It hadn’t become a home. Yet.

With far more excitement about pursuing my dream of becoming a global music icon than the slight sense of relief of leaving my house this time, I began another interesting adventure in a new city to realize my infinite potential. In ways different from how it was in Pune, Mumbai was challenging too. Figuring out managing the household: getting groceries, dealing with househelp, cleaning, washing and drying clothes, maintenance, and dealing with unexpected “situations” made me appreciate everything Mumma did for us on a daily basis without complaining. 

As I juggled work (for the first time) with my music production diploma course, I realized all the hard work Daddy must have put in over the years to keep putting bread on the table. As I often struggled to openly communicate my likes and dislikes with my flatmates, I missed my little sister a lot, in front of whom I could just be myself. I continued living my life as usual despite the missing, still feeling very distant from my family, until the biggest blessing entered my life: my Guru, my source of Faith, Mahatria.

Consistently attending Mahatria’s weekly online satsangs, held every Sunday, made me feel at home. For the very first time in my life, I finally felt I belonged somewhere. That unexpected feeling of belonging was magical. Every week, I could feel my heart expanding with more love, and my inner hand raising itself to take on more responsibility. I wished for everyone in the world to feel this way at least once in their lifetime and thought of ways to make that wish a reality. Obviously, Mahatria began to become a choiceless presence in my life, which meant that His word was becoming final. I diligently started implementing His teachings in my life.

An hour of intentional, daily connection—inspired by a spiritual teacher—broke down the walls of fear and rebuilt our disconnected family into a loving, tangible home.

The Turning Point: Why 6 Hours of Family Time Became My Non-Negotiable

It was the end of 2023, and I was on top of the world, reflecting on the year that had passed and planning for the one to come. I jumped up and down on my seat with excitement on the last Sunday morning of the year, as Mahatria talked about the theme for 2024: Importance Over Urgency. I was amazed by how he explained the concept so effortlessly, making me understand all the non-negotiable, important things in life that we should not compromise on in the face of other, less important, yet urgent matters. I was ready and eager to transform my life, so I was determined to do justice to all the non-negotiable “important” items on the list he had lovingly compiled for us. Everything made sense to me except the first item on the list – it was 6 hours of family time a week!! I was surprised (read shocked). I was reluctant since I was also away from my family, but I sighed, “There’s a reason he must have included this. It is what it is.”

This is how talking to my family (mostly my mom) for at least 1 hour a day became a non-negotiable daily ritual for me that I have retained in my life to this day.

A Loving Abode: Living with My Perfectly Imperfect Family

Let’s fast forward to 2025? As I moved to Surat in Gujarat this time, I was returning not to a concrete house, but a loving home. The same place I had been eager to leave before now looked and felt completely different. You would hardly see any of us eating alone at the dining table, and we like to enjoy each other’s company more than the fictional TV show characters now. Home is quiet only when fewer than two family members are present at a given time. Otherwise, you would hear giggles, whispers, loud claps, singing, jokes, lengthy discussions about some irrelevant topic, expressions of feelings, crying and sometimes even arguments. Although these arguments never have enough fuel to turn into full-blown fights now, since communication is always happening in some form or other at our loving abode. Touch has become the newest and most popular expression of love in our home. Every day, my mother kisses Daddy goodbye as he leaves for work. We sisters never miss a single evening to hug our parents goodnight. A longer than usual embrace in each other’s arms, a gentle stroke over one’s head here and lying in another’s lap there, the four of us have never (ever) felt closer to each other like we do now.

As I look back, with a tear rolling down my cheek, I am overwhelmed by a deep feeling of gratitude and love. As a child, I used to pray for the perfect family. More than a decade later, to finally be living with “my” perfectly imperfect family still feels like a dream. It took time, but it happened. Appreciating the journey we have been through together, I cannot get this thought out of my head: “All it took to be filled with so much love pouring into my life from all directions was really only investing an hour of quality time with my family every day.”