Perhaps Christians might get along better with one another and better understand non-Christians if they were honest about their doubts as well as their beliefs.
At Union Theological Seminary in New York, Walter Wink taught us to ask lots of questions when we lead Bible study. In one parish I served on Long Island, a young woman expressed frustration that she was sometimes more confused at the end of the session than at the beginning. The other 20-something mothers agreed.
Rather than take this as criticism, I asked, “Do you think it is possible that Jesus wants us to be confused?”
This was a new and disturbing idea. “Why would Jesus want us to be confused?’ they protested.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “Let’s think about that for a moment. What is good about being confused?”
After an animated discussion, they concluded that when we are confused, we are more willing to listen to others and more open to learning something new.
I think these women were onto something important about our spiritual lives.
Doubt is also often good for our souls. Wesley Ariarajah, a Christian theologian who is a leading voice in interfaith relations, notes that Westerners often rush to give answers:
“In Asian traditions, a question can be answered in four ways: “yes”; “no”; “I don’t know” and silence. “I don’t know” (or “maybe”) means that the issue is complex and that one needs to nuance the answer from a variety of perspectives. It also indicates that one needs to explore the subject rather than be rushed into giving a yes or no answer.”
(Moving Beyond the Impasse: Reorienting Ecumenical and Interfaith Relations, Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2018,p. 5.)
When we are confused, we are more willing to listen to others and more open to learning something new. Doubt is also often good for our souls.
The founder of my branch of Protestant Christianity, John Wesley, like many other reformers, doubted the received wisdom of his time:
* He doubted God cared much about fine points of doctrine.
* He doubted Catholics and Protestants would or should remain estranged from each other.
* He doubted the American colonists needed to take up arms against England to gain their rights. (They did anyway, but Canadians achieved independence and liberty without warfare.)
* He doubted that renewal of the Church required the creation of another denomination. (His followers created one anyway, but a great deal of reform happened in the Anglican church without a new one.)
As a Methodist, I belong to a doubt-based organization.
Perhaps Christians might get along better with one another and better understand non-Christians if they were honest about their doubts as well as their beliefs. Most saints pass through the “via negativa” (the way of negation) and a “dark night of the soul” on their way to sanctity: the way to enlightenment: A Yes often begins with a No. Wesley was profoundly shaken by his failures as a missionary priest in Georgia and by his fear of marriage, and this ultimately made him available to God to serve in new ways, such as “field preaching” outside the sanctuaries of the state-sponsored Church of England, female preachers, free medical clinics for the poor, and daycare for the children of working parents.
Like nearly half of the population, I suffer from a condition sometimes called testosterone poisoning: Ask me nearly any question, and my first impulse is to give you an answer, whether I know anything about the topic. But mature faith is built on questioning the beliefs we inherit from our families and our culture and considering other points of view. For me at least, spiritual growth has required doubt as well as faith. As Chief Inspector Armand Gamache often says in Louise Penny’s mysteries, one of the keys to wisdom is learning to say, “I don’t know.”
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