In the second part of his EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with Lotus, the leading Indian motivational speaker corrects the concept of work-life balance and points to ways to everlasting joy and fulfillment.
Lotus: Loads of people attend motivational talks and self-development workshops. Do they really change? What can they do to benefit?
Rahul Kapoor: The question of whether real transformation occurs after attending motivational talks and self-development workshops is valid. As someone who specializes in working with leadership teams and coaching families, I have observed that people do experience positive changes during these programs. However, it’s important to note that lasting transformation requires more than just a few sessions.
The human brain is already wired based on past experiences and exposures, which influence our automatic behaviors and responses. Therefore, expecting significant and lasting change from attending one or two workshops may not be realistic. True transformation often requires consistent effort, practice, and ongoing reinforcement to rewire the brain and develop new habits.
In summary, attending motivational talks and workshops can lead to initial changes, but for sustainable transformation, individuals need to embrace a continuous process of learning, practicing, and reinforcing positive behaviors over time.
So, what should I do when I attend a self-development program?
Focus on selecting just one specific aspect to work on and commit to implementing that change completely. This could be something as simple as improving your breathing or practicing forgiveness. By narrowing your focus to one thing, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed by the abundance of content presented in the program.
Once you’ve chosen the one thing you want to work on, delve into its root causes and develop actionable steps to make progress. Remember that transformation involves rewiring your brain, and this requires repetition and practice to reinforce new neural pathways. Think of it like learning to walk – you train your brain until the new habit becomes second nature.
However, it’s essential to acknowledge that the old habits won’t disappear completely; they may weaken as the new habits become stronger. To facilitate lasting change, try the 3 Cs technique: Constant, Consistent Commitment.
In Indian philosophies, there’s a concept known as Chaturmas, which translates to “four months.” It suggests that around 120 days may be sufficient for the human brain to reconfigure and transform. While modern science estimates it may take anywhere from 66 to 256 days, the Eastern world has already acknowledged the significance of sustained effort in bringing about meaningful change.
These days people worry about striking a work-life balance. Your take?
The idea of Work-Life Balance originated in the 1970s and 80s suggesting an 8-12 hour workday for five or six days a week, leaving the weekends for family and personal life.
Then, with the advent of work-from-home during the Covid years, a new concept emerged – Work-Life Integration – blurring the lines between work and personal time, which has its downsides.
However, what I encourage people is to create a mindset of ‘Work-Life Happiness’. Why? Because truly speaking the ‘goal of all goals is Happiness’. We work to earn money, buy things, etc., so that we can experience happiness! We live and grow with our family and friends so that we can be happy.
The easiest way to access Happiness in everything we do is by being ‘Present’ in every moment.
We are ‘Human-Beings’ not ‘Human-Doings’. It’s fine to do what you need to do, to provide for your family and yourself. But to be lost and to burn yourself out is stupidity. By being present in the moment you will learn to ‘BE’ peaceful, patient, understanding, committed, forgiving, and compassionate in everything you ‘DO’ and that is when you will slip into the ‘state of flow’. This will indicate that you are experiencing WORK-LIFE HAPPINESS.
As a Jain-born, can you share the key principles of Jainism that people should know to help improve their lives?
While I draw inspiration from Jainism, my message is universal, as I’ve had the opportunity to speak in churches, mosques, and temples, addressing people from various backgrounds. The principles I share are applicable to everyone, regardless of their religious affiliation. Like other religions, Jainism also emphasizes attaining a state of eternal bliss, where perfect happiness is experienced through the law of ever-growing and never-ending joy, rather than the law of diminishing returns.
Jainism highlights three fundamental principles that can greatly improve our lives and the world around us. The first principle is Ahimsa, which translates to non-violence. It teaches us to respect and value the lives of all beings, whether they possess one sense or five.
The second principle is Aparigraha, advocating for non-attachment. It points out that attachment is the root cause of suffering, and gaining control over our attachments can lead to a more fulfilling life.
The third principle is Anekantavaad, highlighting the multiplicity of views. It teaches us to respect the diverse perspectives held by all living beings, fostering understanding and harmony.
By embracing these principles from a Jain perspective, we can address many of the world’s problems, such as violence, conflict, and exploitation. They offer valuable insights for leading a more compassionate, harmonious, and fulfilling life for all.
For first part of exclusive interview, click below
Rahul Kapoor is a leading motivational speaker, mindset coach, and author who lives with a vision and purpose to help people ignite their inner potential and achieve results that matter.
Over the past 25 years, his programs have inspired over 350,000 people across 15 countries including India, Australia, Canada, Singapore, UAE, and the USA.
He has delivered his customized content, which is a combination of psychology, science, and spirituality, to hundreds of prominent organizations, including many Fortune 500 companies.
Rahul is a guest faculty at the Indian Institute of Management in Bangalore, India. He has authored two books: ‘Workwise – Lessons in Excellence for Young Professionals’ and ‘Dad & I – Inspiring Stories for Teens’.
You can learn more about him at www.rahulkapoor.in