Rum and Praline

Rum and Praline ice-cream is delectable because it is a heady mix of different tastes. People also defy pigeonholing. I have started seeing my relationships in this light and enjoying them more than ever.

Years ago, I was at the Willingdon Club in Mumbai and a friend of mine introduced me to a delicacy that I can feel in my tastebuds even today. Rum and Praline ice-cream. I am not much of a dessert person – but she said I must try something new and I liked the way Rum and Praline rolled off my tongue as I ordered it. Fine, let’s see what it is.
Little did I know that I was about to taste the best ice-cream I ever had. The softest caramel and rum ice-cream with crunchy praline pecans (butter, sugar, corn syrup, pecans, and salt). It was rolling off my tongue – an explosion of sweetness, softness, crunchiness, and a sudden dash of saltiness. It was heaven. Pure heaven! I could not imagine how so many different tastes could come together to create something so breathtaking.
Somehow the words Rum and Praline have just stuck with me ever since. I must confess I have never had this dessert again and yet I almost feel I don’t need to. It’s become a part of me, forever. Rum and Praline. Say it once. It has something so awesome about it.
Recently I was talking to a few friends about my relationship with my husband and some close friends – and I suddenly described it as Rum and Praline. And that’s when it struck me – there was so much to learn from this ice-cream. It was delectable for a reason. And as I have been applying these reasons to my relationships, I am enjoying them more than ever.
The first – I realized, it was the mix of different tastes that made Rum and Praline so special. It was sweet, and sour. Soft, and crunchy. And so are relationships. And people. Trying to fit anyone (including yourself) into a box, or a definition is so limiting. I used to pigeon-hole people into neatly labeled boxes and each time they did something that defied it, I didn’t know what to do.

I once asked my Guru, what is the single most cause of all miseries in the world. I expected him to say, “Money!” But, instead, he said, “Relationships!”

Vital energy that can be used to savor relationships goes into dealing with them.

For instance, someone I had pegged down as loving if he had an anger spell, my system couldn’t handle it. Someone I had pegged down as straightforward would twist a tale and I would go for a toss. Gradually, I realized no one is just one flavor. No one is a vanilla. Or even a chocolate. People are this, and that. And enjoying all sides of them empowers you to grow in love and build a peaceable relationship.
It also relieves the other from being anything but themselves.
Rum and Praline gives you the freedom to be what you wish to be.
The second incredible thing I realized was that rum and praline flavors don’t seem to fight each other in your mouth. The tastes complement each other. The rum is just being the rum, and the praline, praline. The pecans are what they are.
So often, in the name of love, we begin to try changing others. We feel we are doing it for them. But the point is, he is here to be him and not another version of you. Just because I love coffee, I want him to like it as well. Why? Just because I have a love for travel, he should too. Why?
The more I am learning to enjoy each person in my life for what they are and not what I want them to be, peace is growing, acceptance is growing, and the best part: resentment and expectations are diminishing.
There is a chance for love to blossom, in all its innocence and glory. Because no one is enforcing anything on the other.
I love relationships. I love dwelling on them. Writing about them. And most of all, living them. I once asked my Guru, what is the single most cause of all miseries in the world. I expected him to say, “Money!” But, instead, he said, “Relationships!”
Such vital energy that can be used to savor relationships goes into dealing with them.
Not that I have got it all right.
And yet, with every passing day, I am enjoying my gang more. And I hope they can say the same for me!
Rum and Praline. Hope we live this often. More often.

Illustrations courtesy Tiny Buddha & https://mindbodycounselingreno.com/