A life coach is an empathetic, passionate, and understanding individual who helps organize your life.
It may sound new, but life coaching has been around for ages. From cavemen in the Stone Age to corporate CEOs have sought advice from elders earlier and professional life coaches today.
I am of Indian descent, and my mother used to tell me about problem-solving committees called panchayats in the subcontinent back in the days before court systems came into being. Of course, you had grandparents or the head of the household helping you make decisions, ranging from minor to extreme severity.
Every culture and every faith has its own form of life coaching: Pandits for Hindus, rabbis for Jews, maulvi for Muslims, and priests for Christians. They played their role as a shoulder to cry on or just to listen silently to your troubles.
So, what role a life coach is called upon to perform in our time? Well, a life coach is an empathetic, passionate, and understanding individual who helps organize your life. In this frenetic time of social media and artificial intelligence, we have become numb to our own true feelings and emotions. I have seen the youth today suffering to find their own identity. They view themselves through the instagrammed eyes of their peers. On the other hand, I have seen baby boomers among us who are not able to come out of the past. They relive every mistake made or trauma endured in their minds on a loop. The simple advice of the Buddha is forgotten: “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” To be able to focus and enjoy your present moment is truly a blessing. If you really understand your present self, then only will you be able to conquer the future.
Why is the role of a life coach important right now? You won’t believe how many times I’ve been asked this question. I come from a culture where mental health is not considered an issue. Similarly, I’ve heard people from different cultures and backgrounds express the same concern. Mental health concerns are swept under the carpet. “What depression? What anxiety?”
Enter Shelly the Life Coach, as your trusted friend, financial advisor, therapist, and health trainer. The vocabulary we use is ‘friend’ and ‘client’, not ‘patient’ and ‘mental sickness”.
“Will you really be able to fix me?” This is a common question in every client’s mind if not their lips. I don’t ‘fix’ anything; I just listen and reassure them that I’m here for them. For me the most important ingredient to a great life is RESPECT. In order for you to look forward to a great future you have to appreciate your present self.
A woman in her early 20s asked me, “Shelly ji, will I ever be normal?” In our conversations, she would repeatedly portray herself in a negative, self-deprecating way. Examples: “I’m so stupid for thinking this way.” “I’m so unattractive no one would want to get to know me.” Remarks like these make us lose perspective of the positives in us. You have to remember that positive feedback to ourselves is an important part of our growth. It’s also necessary that we surround ourselves with positive family, friends, and coworkers. We know that life is not that simple! That’s why I reassured my 20-something client, “I’m there to support you every step of the way.” She would constantly blame the adults in her life for not providing a supportive positive environment. “Since you haven’t had a positive role model, now you have to become one in its place.” This sentiment is constantly conveyed to her in our sessions.
Find your positive and become the role model that you crave. The goal in the end is to become a better person than we were yesterday. Slowly, my client started to see a clearer picture of her future. She understood what behaviors needed to be modified, and what actions were needed to proceed. I now look forward to our conversations together because I know they will be full of positivity and enthusiastic future planning.
I coach people one person at a time to make this world a more positive and beautiful place.
Illustration courtesy: thriveglobal.com
