In college I took a course on drug use and addiction. What I clearly remember from that class is that the professor often spoke about her earlier addiction to coffee. She explained that she was so dependent on caffeine it made her a completely different person. I didn’t quite understand the seriousness of her experience or how it would relate to my own life in the years to come. I always thought, “Wow, she really can’t handle caffeine, and I’m glad I don’t have that problem”, but I did with addictions and toxicity.
For many years since I was a teenager, I was always drinking coffee. It started out social, a thing you do while catching up with friends but then it became an activity that was “soothing”, a nice warm beverage, and then lastly it was my way of staying awake and functioning. I was an addict and had no idea because it just crept up on me. Before I even knew it, I was in the grips of caffeine addictions and toxicity.
It’s been almost a year since I’ve given up caffeine. I admit, I haven’t been perfect and relapsed a couple of times, but those moments helped me the most in learning a lot about my own addiction. When I finally quit drinking coffee, I was a mess. I went through withdrawal and my husband had to reassure me many times that I could not just have a little bit. Once I was able to get beyond that first stage, things became easier. I was able to sleep better, my energy was more consistent, and I was less anxious, but my biggest realization was when I accidentally had caffeine. When I forgot to specify “decaf’ coffee while ordering at a café, I quickly learned that I had been living a life where I always felt like I was having a heart attack along with having my mind being flooded with worries and my concentration being inaccessible. This attachment to what seemingly was a harmless indulgence created a chatter in my mind so overwhelming at times that it would distort my perspective of life and made me feel even more exhausted physically and emotionally.
One of the 7 major addictions (maha-vyasan) spoken about in Jainism is alcohol (daaru). However, alcohol is far from the only addictive or harmful substance. Coffee, tobacco, meat (mansahaar), and dairy — all these toxins were once thought innocuous but are now known to not only harm our health, but also raise important concerns regarding environmental degradation, animal welfare, and human rights. By refraining from harmful substances, we not only clear our conscience, but our mind as well, allowing us to live kinder lives not only to others but also ourselves.
As an Anuvrat (small vow as recommended by Jain saint Acharya Tulsi), I encourage you to evaluate your life, habits, and daily routine. What have you long thought benign may be holding you back and what vow can you make to eliminate toxicity from your life?
