I approached Mahatria in a state of despair, and his three-pronged advice re-created my marriage.
Nowadays following a guru seems to be trending. I have been a part of social gatherings where people discuss whom they are following, why they are following, and how many followers their guru has! For me, however, my Guru Mahatria was a happening. A click. A choiceless choice. Almost two decades ago, in 2005, young, brimming with life and potential, my eyes happened to meet those of my Guru, and something happened. Something that changed my life forever…
Who is Mahatria? Google answers, “Mahatria Ra, born in 1965, is a spiritual leader, aiming to better the lives of his followers through spiritualism. Known as Mahatria by his followers, he has founded an organization called Infinitheism, which seeks to help a person’s transformation on material, emotional and spiritual pursuits.”
But to me, the more important question is, Who is Mahatria to me? And I will respond by saying, he is my Source of Faith. I trust his ways, I believe his messages, and I have faith in Him. From the day I met him, inexplicably something in me has known he is not ordinary, and he will carry me through – no matter what vagaries life brings.
I had no clue my faith would be tested and validated soon enough… and in one of the most important relationships of my life. This is what transpired.
Rewind back to 2006. I have no clue what forces of nature brought Arun and me together. Just a year after Mahatria happened to me, Arun walked in too. We were as unlike as two people can be. He was an IT guy, and I, a writer. Discipline was his middle name, whereas I was a flow… most things he loved, I didn’t, and vice versa. Literally like the sun and moon, we seem to have little in common and yet, we fell in love.
The initial two years were bliss. At a very cellular level, he seemed to complement and complete something in me and me for him. We would just keep walking, talking, dating, dancing. Getting married seemed like the most natural step to our beautiful togetherness.
I was stumped when post-marriage, much changed between us. The easy flow got replaced by friction. The differences we so enjoyed before marriage seemed infuriating. We lost the laughter between us. What was happening? Had I changed? Or had he?
I was floundering in my most intimate relationship and it put me in a state of despair. I was trying hard to find answers but seemed to be missing a point. One of those nights, overwhelmed, I wrote to Mahatria about all that I was going through. I had been following his wisdom for about three years and had experienced beautiful transformations in myself and my life through the simple messages he gave. I had also experienced a few miracles and knew that when human intelligence didn’t find answers, the infinite one would. And to me that Source was Mahatria.
I was in tears as I wrote. Arun was so beautiful, I was so beautiful, and yet – together, we didn’t seem beautiful. What do I do, Mahatria? How do I make things work? It was the middle of the night when I finally hit ‘Send’ and lay my head on the keyboard in sheer exhaustion. Ding. A soft sound woke me up. I didn’t expect it but in about two hours, I received a response from him. I rubbed my eyes to convince myself it wasn’t a dream because Mahatria usually didn’t mail back. He told us seekers that he answers through our lives and not always in words. And yet here it was, sitting in my inbox, an email from my beloved guru. I smiled through tears as I opened the mail and read it as if my very life depended upon it. Shivers. Goosebumps. More tears. Some laughter. And finally, peace.
The email contained three profound messages and the effect that they had on us, over the months and years that followed, is too profound to be kept a secret. So here goes…
Mahatria’s relationship therapy
Don’t expect oranges from a mango tree.
The first essence of Mahatria’s mail was: Don’t expect oranges from a mango tree. Simple as this sounds, most of us struggle so much in relationships because we keep expecting the other to be what we want them to be, versus what they are. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why Arun couldn’t express more and he couldn’t fathom why I was so emotional. Fortunately for Arun too, Mahatria’s words meant a lot, and it was easy for us to find common ground in his wisdom. The more we began to realize, individually, and together, that we had to accept the other as they were, and not keep trying to change the other, the magic began. It took time and was not an overnight transformation, and I think it’s an area that will be a lifelong striving, but peace prevailed once again between us.
Keep small things small.
The second essence was: Keep small things small. Often in relationships, we blow things out of proportion. Think of a beautiful relationship you once had, which has gone sour. If you dig deep, you will notice that it wasn’t something drastic, but a lot of small things blown out of proportion. Arun and I have developed a beautiful gesture with each other. The moment we see the other is going off the track, we just hold our hands up and say, “Time Out!” It is helping us keep our conflict time to a minimum and flow is our dominant state again. Also, one of the best ways to do this in practical life is – the moment one of the two is becoming emotional, the other should simply leave the space. In emotions, we tend to say a lot of things we don’t mean so the best is to create some time and space and resume a conversation only when the intelligence is once again well in place.
If Love cannot, nothing else can
The third essence was: If Love cannot, nothing else can. I realized it was a deep love that brought us together and was keeping us together. Love is not just about romance and holidays, but also about pausing for the other when they have slowed down, being a mirror, having uncomfortable conversations, going through transitions together and so much more. My very definition of love exploded. It became more patient. Humbler. More expansive. And so much less judgmental.
I have realized true love is not about coming together but about staying together. The first is a happening, and the latter you must make it happen. And for that one needs to be open to evolving, accepting, cherishing, and forgiving and keep taking that next step with happiness. I write this as Arun and I complete over a decade together. It’s been one of the most transforming journeys of my life and I am excited to find out – what more, what next…
I feel such immense gratitude to my beloved Guru, whose wisdom, at just the right time, aided us in not just staying together, but growing together. Mahatria for me is so much more than a person. It is a presence. A force that seems to breathe beside me, telling me I am doing well or guiding me to do something better. It is an energy that protects me, preserves me, and simply immerses me in such divine love that I actually feel I am never alone.
As I write the last sentence of this article with tears forming at the corner of my eyes, I muse in wonderment, “What did I do so right, to have this Grace of a Guru flow in my life!”